Mon, Aug 16/04
Soon he'll be able to wash himself with a rag on a stick

Here's a weight loss success story for you: Patrick Deuel, of Valentine, Nebraska, is down to 751 pounds. That's my flimsy pretext for introducing the best sentence in the history of cnn.com. To wit:

"A group known as the League of Human Decency helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed."

God bless those fine men and women.