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July 27, 2005
Pure balls
One evening last week, a boy of about 48 inches and perhaps 60 pounds knocked on my door and asked if I'd like a subscription to the Toronto Star. It supported the Star's summer camps program, it was a really good deal, and I didn't have the heart to interrupt him in the middle of his ludicrously well-rehearsed speech, so I set aside my qualms about miniscule nine-year-olds knocking on random doors all by themselves and signed up.
All was well for a few days, but this morning, on the topic of the impending LCBO strike — on the front page, no less — I found this:
If you're into beer, you're in the clear.
If you prefer wine, you'll be just fine.
But if you sip whisky, things could get risky.
"Oh my," I said, sleep still clinging to the corners of my eyes, "how delightfully clever." But then, this:
The savvy wine drinker knows there are plenty of fine Ontario wines, and many will continue to be available at retail wine outlets during a strike. One employee divulged that they're preparing for a potential strike by upping their orders. Tell the wine snobs to put a cork in it.
Yeah, take that, cash-chuckers! Canadian citizens not being able to buy a perfectly legal product because a provincial government refuses to allow private enterprise to distribute it ain't no thang. Just drink some overpriced, migraine-inducing swill from Pelee Island and forget the Loire Valley even exists.
I've got an idea for the Toronto Star: piss off, with extreme dispatch. That kid comes around again, I might just have to cancel. (I might also make sure he actually has parents.)
Posted by Chris Selley at July 27, 2005 12:41 AM
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Comments
Chris - get with the program: it's not about supplying a product to the customer, taxpayer, and citizen (that'd be you, bucko). It's about providing well paid jobs to retail clerks (that'd be them) - don't make Robert come around and explain it to you again!
Dean
Posted by: DCardno at July 27, 2005 10:50 AM
Yeah, the Star told me to screw off yesterday after I applied for the year-long internship, so I cancelled my subscription. It felt good, except I did the same thing when the Globe told me to screw off, so now I need a paper. I punch things when I read the Post and the Sun, so maybe I should just move far away, like New Zealand.
Posted by: deepfriedgold at July 28, 2005 08:18 AM
Chris, you're reading the wrong paper if you're looking for someone to champion the cause of LCBO privatization. The article was correct about beer, though - who needs over-priced imported wines when we make some of the best beer in the world right here?
Posted by: canukistan at July 28, 2005 02:22 PM
Great reading, keep up the great posts.
Peace, JiggaDigga
Posted by: JiggaDigga at April 7, 2006 12:56 AM