Archive for August, 2007

Minipundit

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Had Megapundit been in session last week, I would have struggled to explain briefly just how objectionable I found Rosie DiManno’s August 17 effort. Let’s start, conveniently, with the lede: “When Omar Khadr purportedly tossed the grenade that killed an American infantryman, he was neither child nor soldier.”

The second thing is a discussion point; the first is like saying the world’s flat, and the justifications DiManno deploys in defence of her bizarre position are understandably, unavoidably weak. “At 15, he was age-appropriate for marriage in Afghan culture and old enough to enter military service,” she proffers. But then, mere words later, she dismisses the idea that Khadr was a soldier on grounds that he “and his Al Qaeda-affiliated father weren’t part of that combat structure.” So the age-appropriateness and military eligibility would seem to be off the table then, all the more so since the international treaties the United States and Canada have signed with regard to child soldiers (the definition of which, admittedly, Khadr may not technically meet) have nothing to do with either concept, but simply with age.

“Khadr… is routinely presented by his advocates as a naïve whelp blown about by the winds of war, putatively innocent of any actionable crime and left to rot at an offshore detention facility, denied basic legal rights,” DiManno continues. Other than the noticeable sneer with which she writes that, her only rebuttals are as follows: Guantanamo was created by Congress, and thus has legal status; Khadr hasn’t “recanted” whatever ideas his “wicked father” may have instilled in him (on myguantanamoyears.blogspot.com, perhaps); he has fired his American lawyers; and - wait for it - he looks much older than the 15-year-old he was when he committed the crime.

The craziest part about it all is when DiManno recalls visiting a child soldier rehabilitation camp in Uganda and finding, as I think most reasonable people would, naught but sympathy for its inhabitants. Those children’s circumstances and experiences will have been more gruesome than any of the Khadr clan, I suspect, but I don’t get how the unqualified absolution DiManno offers the Ugandans for “their sins” doesn’t translate into at least a single wretched crumb of understanding for Omar Khadr’s.

It would be madness to ask a 10-year-old to rebel against the abduction and tried-and-true brainwashing techniques used by African militias. Seems to me like a similar if marginally less offensive dementia to ask the same of a 13- or 14-year-old Canadian boy against his deranged mother and father, particularly since this country couldn’t even find the balls to protect the remaining minors in the family against the remaining parents - and that was after Omar got nabbed and the last 10 oblivious Canadians finally learned just what awful people Maha and Ahmed Said Khadr are and were, respectively.

The minute details of the Geneva Conventions seem like precisely the wrong place to search for one’s moral position on this matter. And the completely understandable position that one doesn’t give a crap about Omar Khadr simply isn’t relevant to this debate. It’s the ability to identify matters of principle that separates us from the primates.

Just quit. Do something else. The world is your oyster.

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

In what might be one of his most embarrassing moments, Damien Cox slags MLSE for not fielding Major League Soccer’s best team in its inaugural injury-ridden season, and the fans respond with devastating eloquence:

Seriously, I can’t believe you get paid for this.

But why let reason get in your way when misplaced paranoid hysteria feels so good to you? Bob McCown taught you well, grasshopper!

When that win comes, its euphoria, its worth it. That’s what football is about - I am sorry if it doesn’t fit into the North American consumerist mindset of paying for tickets and expecting to be entertained.

Cox, I think you’ve been reporting on sports for so long you’ve forgotten what it’s like to care about them.

We haven’t.

One is the loneliest number

Monday, August 13th, 2007

There’s been quite a bit of crowing over the “fact” that just one Canadian couple obtained a marriage licence from Toronto City Hall in the first half of 2007. This must be proof, said the usual suspects - among them National Post columnist Barbara Kay - that gay people never really wanted to get married at all, and that we’ve yet again been duped (in Kay’s words) by “a few bellwether political activists.”

107 licences issued to same-sex couples in all of 2006, and just one in the first half of the next year? Sounds bloody implausible, no? Yes, indeed, the number appears to be bollocks - the result of some squirrelly data management at the City of Toronto. That, along with Kay’s use of an hilariously unscientific poll to bolster her argument about young ladies turning into skanks, is the subject of my latest “Fact Check” feature at Macleans.ca.

I’m on vacation for this week and the next, incidentally, so there may be a relative uptick in activity around these long-neglected parts if the urge strikes me.

It’s a puritan scavenger hunt!

Monday, August 6th, 2007

The LCBO proposed the following, ludicrously labour-intensive method to inform Ontarians where they might have purchased a bottle of wine today, had the demonic urge struck them:

As a convenience to Ontario consumers and visitors, approximately 350 LCBO stores across the province will open on the civic holiday, Monday, August 6, 2007.

Many LCBO agency stores, beer stores and Ontario winery stores will also be open.

LCBO stores that are opening on August 6 will post signs to notify customers of their hours of business.

Customers should check with their local LCBO store or contact the toll-free, bilingual LCBO Infoline at 1-800-ONT-LCBO (668-5226) or infoline@lcbo.com. In Toronto, call 416 365-5900. The TTY number for the deaf and hearing impaired is 416 864-6898 or 1-800-361-3291. The LCBO Infoline will be open on the civic holiday from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. All other LCBO offices will be closed.

The Beer Store, meanwhile, just wanted us to fuck off and leave it alone:

On Monday, August 6, 306 locations of The Beer Store will be open for business for the Civic Holiday. 288 stores will be open from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. and 18 stores will be open from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. All other locations will be closed and reopen on Tuesday, August 7

No further information was offered as to where among Ontario’s 13 million people and 1 million square kilometres one might have found the elusive 18. One wonders how many finished off their 12-packs at 7ish, then saddled up the automobile and went a-searchin’.