| Tart Cider hesitates to paint an
entire region with one suck brush. But after considering
everything from the bombed out rubble of the bombed out rubble
that was once Kabul, to the scorching, alcohol-free sands of
Saudi Arabia, to the affluent but exploding Palestinian-filled
piazzas and promenades of Tel Aviv, we were left with very
little alternative. The Middle East sucks! |
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exactly
260,135,328 |
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Long-forgotten
WWF villain The Iron Sheik |
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Nasreddin
Hodja, Turkey's favourite humorist |
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Osama
lin Baden, Riyadh's unluckiest cabbie |
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Often considered
Earth's scariest place |
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Mesopotamia (now
Iran) is considered the birthplace of civilization |
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Area contains the
world's highest concentration of races who have been totally
fucked over in the past century |
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Many component
nations proudly adhere to the tenets of medieval corporal
punishment |
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Falafel |
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Officials examine a
bombed out automobile for clues, all the while secretly wishing that
they themselves had perished in the inferno. |
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| Thanks to the
constant threat of terrorism, Israel's El Al is the safest airline in
the world. You can float really easily in the Dead Sea. Trattoria
Emilio, in downtown Damascus, makes a mean Chicken Parm. |
Considering the
potential disaster awaiting you on Middle Eastern planes, buses,
ferries, highways and mule paths, it might just be best to stock up on
non-perishables and ride this mother out. |
Little to none.
Most Middle Easterners are acutely aware that the Middle East sucks. |
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Explore
cosmopolitan Yemen.
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